As I round the corner from June into July, and I once more find myself more than halfway through the year still working on the same project I can’t help but wonder, at what point in the endless cycle of editing and rewriting do we finally learn to trust ourselves and our stories and just let it go? (And more importantly, how do we learn to do that?) Because even when I think I’m good and I think the story is exactly where it needs to be, I can’t help but want to make changes. More often than not I’m comfortable with what I’m writing until I consider someone actually reading it. Suddenly no matter how confident I previously was I start second guessing.
How do we learn to let go and trust that our story can hold it’s own? I’m genuinely asking, because I’ve been writing these same words for as long as I can remember, only in different ways and yet for as long as I can remember I’ve also struggled to let it go. If my book were an actual child it would be a teenager by now, and probably close to being off to college. It’s been that long that I’ve been working on this.
I’m trying to learn to accept the fact that it will never be perfect, and that has to be okay for me, but I’ve been so stalled in edits just trying to make sure little things are right that I haven’t made any headway at all in the better part of a month. I don’t know how I got to this point again, and no matter how many side projects I work on to take my mind off of it and give me a chance to breathe and recoup I can’t seem to stay away for very long. I had read once that art is never finished merely abandoned, but what do you do when you’re not sure how to abandon it? Can a project ever be abandoned if you can’t seem to let it go?