Altering Expectations

Expectations lead to resentments.

-RuPaul

friIn a way, expectations are a part of the human condition, it’s nearly impossible not to have an idea in your head of how things should go, how they should look, etc. It’s rare, in fact, I suspect you know of very few people who’s expectations have ever matched their reality. Sometimes this is not necessarily a bad thing either, but the truth of it is, it’s hard to appreciate what you have when your expectations of the way they should be cloud your mind.

I have a lot of things to be grateful for, a lot of things to be excited about, but sometimes the realization that things haven’t gone the way I thought they should, five and ten years ago, can get me down. I’ve always been someone who dreams big, and I firmly believe in that, but I’m starting to realize that just because things don’t go the way you expected them too, doesn’t mean they aren’t going where they’re supposed to. A decade ago, when I was thirteen, I hoped that I’d be a published author with a dozen books under my belt by now, and legions of fans. But the truth is, in hindsight I know I wasn’t ready for it. It isn’t something anyone can tell you, its something you have to figure out along the way. Looking back on my writing back then, I would have been mortified to see that in print. I can barely stand to see things from a year or two ago sometimes. As writers we grow and evolve with each book we write and sometimes with each draft, and that’s a good thing.

Sometimes you get lucky, sometimes things come out exactly the way you imagined they would and that’s great, but most times, the story isn’t quite what you pictured, the drawing isn’t exactly what you thought and the movie isn’t as good as the book. It’s okay to have expectations and hopes and dreams but you have to find a way to make sure that they don’t bring you down if they don’t go the way you planned. I don’t want to say lower your expectations, because that sounds negative, instead I look at it as, altering your expectations, or better yet, altering how you respond to your expectations not being met. You might be surprised how amazing things can be if you appreciate them for what they are and not what you hoped they’d be.

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