I’ve tried to write this post a number of times now, but as one of the most difficult and unique issues in the trans community it’s sort of difficult to know exactly where to begin. For many in the trans community, dating, can be difficult at best, and harrowing at worst. If you happen to be a trans person (particularly a trans woman) who can find someone who loves you, and who supports you regardless of your gender identity, it’s kind of rare. So needless to say I was more than a little terrified at the idea of dating for a long time. In fact, I had planned basically not to do it until my transition was complete.
Unfortunately what I’ve come to learn is that, that doesn’t always help the issue of dating while trans. Interestingly while crime against people who are transgender has gone up, and the dating issue still hasn’t been solved, the proliferation of trans centered pornography has skyrocketed in recent years. Curiously it would seem many men are interested in seeing us sexually, but when it comes to anything deeper, that somehow threatens their masculinity. Not every man is like this mind, it’s a rare man that is secure enough in himself to date a trans woman. Rest assured, they are out there. There are plenty of men who are love us and want to be with us, and not just the usual chaser crowd either. Men who want us in a real way, not just for our bodies.
I feel very fortunate in this respect, and I know that sadly this isn’t the case for all trans women. Needless to say, the need for men to be able to say unashamedly that they are attracted to trans women and further, to not be ridiculed by their peers for admitting said attraction is paramount.